Between Southern Lights

It Is No Wonder

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 21:36:24 -0500

I find Him in the street lights that harmonize and bow to me daily as I walk smoothly, one foot in front of the other, cars being slowed by bright yellows and reds five seconds before my shoe steps off the curb. I find Him on the city bus, ordering His angles to cradle my head from hitting the cold window as the number 100 rounds the bend of Edenton Street. I find Him at dusk and I find Him at dawn. I find Him in free warm soup and sober mornings and tear-stained cheeks. I find Him in negative blood work and disbelieving doctors and painless nights. I find Him laughing while brushing my teeth and stirring the pot, in rainbow soap bubbles clinging to dirty dishes. Yes, I find Him as I stand awestruck staring at cotton candy and sherbert skies, thinking “what is man that You think of Him?!” When I can say, “No, I’m fine without a drink” with peace indescribable, He is not hidden. When my hand freezes mid-sweep of dark liquid on wet lashes because I hear Him say “Are you dressing yourself in Love or in makeup this morning?,” His face is not turned away. I find Him when He throws away my fig leaves and introduces me to His way. My life is not one of limitations, of “no, I don’t do that, I don’t approve of that, I don’t like that.” It is one of “Yes God, please God, if You will let me have You, I will take you. I will take You.”

I find Him in strings singing together through cheap crackling speakers. The strings cry out “You are Mine and I am Yours always always always.”

I find Him when I turn it all off and close the doors and fall to my knees again like it’s the first time. My chest shakes and I cry out “You are too good. You are everything I have ever wanted, and I will give You everything. Please God just take it all so I can have more room for You.” Will you take it all, Jesus? Will you take away all my pride and criticism and impatience? Will you fan the flame? Will you show me how to live and die for this? Will you show me what it really means to be in love? Will you expand the love? Will you increase my chest cavity to take it all in? The magnitude of your grace and your beauty? Bring me my rest and bring me my cross, Jesus. Anything to just walk with You.

Hosanna. Hosanna. Hosanna. Hosanna!

You are everything you promise you are. You are everything I always wanted but thought was but a dream! It is no wonder that I love Raleigh, that I shout it’s beauty to outsiders and insiders alike, that I stand like a child before his first Christmas tree staring down Fayetteville street at twilight. Raleigh is where I fell in love. These streets bring up every sweet memory of Him- of fellowship and tears, miracles and gifts, dancing and crying with angels and saints. Jesus pursued me my whole life, but this is where I sought Him with all my heart, and this is where I found Him (Jer 29:13).

In love,

Kris

I'm okay. :)

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 23:23:49 -0400

Hi folks! Long time no see! I guess I haven’t really felt like I’ve had anything so important to say that it need be permanently engraved in the interweb. Well, today is no different in the big scheme of things, but I have a bit of encouragement for anyone who has disappointed themselves or been embarrassed of their performance (and if you haven’t felt this, you’re a robot. Why are you reading my blog, robot?)

Today I found out that I failed my PhD preliminary exam. After almost two hours of crying (yes, no exaggerating- I’ve found it’s better to call it what it is rather than try to pretend you’re not upset), three AMAZING encouraging phone calls with my advisor, and lots of ministering prayer and encouragement from my parents and my Raleigh family, I know that IT IS OKAY.

It is okay to fail. Not only is it okay to fail, but it is inevitable. We’re not perfect in ANY area of our lives. So where I failed this time, I will succeed in other things. This was just my chance to learn this lesson from the Father. I know He has got some GREAT things to teach me through this- showing me where to find my identity (in the Trinity) and where NOT to find my identity (in my intelligence, achievements, seeking perfection, comparing myself against others, etc.). The thing is, I prayed all summer that IF it was His will, and if I put in my best effort and prepared in every way that I could, He would make a way for me to pass the exam. And I mean, come on, if He cares enough to NUMBER the hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30), then He cares about our dreams. And I didn’t pass. So I have to believe that He cares about this and answered my prayer by saying “It’s not My will yet.”

I truly thank Jesus that He cares SO much about my identity in Him, that He would make a way for me to fail my exam just to expose it to me. I will learn to keep trusting Him, when I am happy or sad about my circumstances, because He is a good good Daddy. I would rather fail every exam than succeed and be the person I used to be- constantly anxious and always putting unbearable pressure on myself. I don’t think I will fail everything! Of course not! But I’m truly seeing things for what they are now. I know that this summer was victorious in its own right. I had a beautiful summer. I went to Kenya! I had an art show! I hosted a multitude of family dinners in my house or in the park. And I studied my butt off for 2 solid months and didn’t stress once about the qual, because I trusted in the Lord. So I didn’t pass it. I’ll have plenty of other exams in my life. I thank God for restructuring my priorities in the past year. He is good yesterday today and forever.

I woke up today safe and healthy, had three amazing meals, got to go to school and see people that I love, and got to spend the evening with some of the most beautiful people I have ever met. I live in a cute house in a cute city with a cute cat and I’m filled with this irrevocable, giddy, love-filled joy some like to call Holy Spirit. So yes, today was awesome.

If by any chance there is anyone reading this who DID pass their quals, I have a special message for you. I am genuinely SO so happy for you, whether you passed one, two or three this summer! Your hard work paid off and you get to move on! God must have some exciting plans for you! And I am confident and grateful that I will get to see some of them unfold in the next few years.

XOXO

Kris

Baby Blues

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 11:07:37 -0400

Last night was a joyful celebration of community as we blessed two friends who are embarking on the World Race. As one last hoorah, we headed to a rooftop bar down town. On the way there, I stopped at the mini-mart to get snacks because I was sure I would meet someone hungry on the way. Sure enough, I walked in front of the bus station entrance, looked left, and saw a couple clutching each other’s hands and bottles wrapped in paper. Their names were Richard and Pam.

As my friends stood by and worshipped and sang and watched over me, I gave Richard and Pam the bag of food, listened to them, and prayed with them. I held their hands and hugged them and they were both incredibly drunk but love broke through the fog. I told them that they were amazing and prayed for deliverance. I looked into Richard’s eyes and they were bright bright blue. I sat at his feet on the step below him and looked into his eyes as he cried in desperation and gratitude.

When I left, something struck me. I’ve been praying to Jesus to sit at His feet and see His face for months. I want nothing more than to see His face. I said to my friend Caleb, “I think I just did. I think I just ministered to Jesus.”

When we walked back afterwards, Richard and Pam were gone, but the bag of food was sitting there untouched. I looked at Caleb and we both knew what happened.

In Matthew 25:40, Jesus says “Truly I tell you, whatever you do for the least of these, you do for Me.”

He truly is everywhere. And I finally got to sit at His feet and look into His eyes.

XOXO

Kris

It's worth it

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 10:18:41 -0400

Whatever you spend most of your time thinking about, weighing, fearing, spending money on, trying to impress, covering yourself in, hoping in, hiding in, that is your God.

Who is your God? You have one life. Take one day, one week, one month to take an honest look at what you worship. Is this where you want to be?

One year ago I was baptized. One year ago I shared my testimony...

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 15:09:13 -0400

One year ago I was baptized. One year ago I shared my testimony with my church. Today I am more in love with Jesus than ever before. Today I share this part of my testimony with you. Yesterday, today, forever, I am free.

Do you want freedom?

Love

Kris

He’s singin love love love.

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:03:04 -0400

He’s singin love love love.

Billions

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 09:02:27 -0400

Last night, I met a man named Francis, sitting patiently under a store awning downtown. Francis was born probably about 50 years ago, and had bright blue eyes when he came out of his mama’s belly. He had a first cry, a first step, a first word, and a first best friend. He had a first cry, a first love, a first heartbreak. Francis and I are both made of the same fabric- sewn together by carbon and water and God’s breath.

Francis was out on the streets because he couldn’t stand to be with his brother and his drug addictions any longer. After my friend and I talked and listened to Francis for a while, I learned that he has struggled with addiction for most of his life, has a niece he admires, has a daughter he just met, and wants to go back to school someday.

Francis is holding onto hope. He is entering into a rehab program right now, but wants to find “Christian-centered healing” (his words, not mine). While in rehab, he can’t leave and that means he can’t get to church on Sunday for a while. So God told me to give Francis my Bible. Jon and I hung out and prayed and talked with Francis, exchanged information, and went back to our friends. I arrived home, fell into bed and realized I didn’t have my Bible to read like I do every night and the tears starting a’comin.

You see, I love that Bible. I have highlighted, underlined, circled, and marked up that book. The pages are wrinkled, colored, and tearstained. I have written my most precious prayers in it, and it is my handheld testimony. It has been with me for a long, beautiful, painful journey, and it felt like a part of me. That’s when I realized that God was trying to teach me something last night when He introduced me to my brother, Francis.

I had a two-fold negative attachment to my Bible. I realized that when I looked down at my Bible, I started seeing the highlights and scribbles more than the words on the page. I was proud of myself, thinking, “Wow, I’m really working my way through this thing!” Can you imagine? Can you imagine looking at the Word of my Healer and being so blinded by pride that I couldn’t see past the yellow markings, and see the words that breathed life and love into me?

Secondly, I realized that I was placing too much emphasis on the book. The book didn’t heal me, but God did. The book didn’t comfort me, but God did. The book didn’t save me, but God did. That book had become my diamond ring, my nice car, and I had to give it up.

You see, there are billions of copies of the Bible, but they’re just paper and glue and leather. I’m not saying that they should be destroyed or tossed to the side! Not at all! But like everything else, they must be freely give and freely taken. What they hold is the precious love of God. Jesus must be the attachment. Jesus must be the diamond ring. I have another Bible, and I can always go get another Bible, because there are a billion Bibles, but there’s only one Francis. Francis is you and he is me. Francis is a living, walking man with parents and dreams, sore feet and raw memories.

I beg of you. Don’t hold onto the replaceable and let the irreplaceable lay at your feet. Don’t hold onto anything except for God himself. He will provide and His love endures forever.

Spiritual Inspiration

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 17:54:08 -0500

Spiritual Inspiration

Can’t get this out of my head.

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 14:04:28 -0500

Can’t get this out of my head.

The Clothes Off Your Back

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:14:25 -0500

I bike. Every day. And I knew it was going to happen, eventually. Crash and burn, I mean. Today was a beautiful warm day, and I dressed in flats and white linens pants and biked to campus for a meeting. I was 100 yards from being home free, and I hit wet brick at just the right angle and speed and before I knew it, I was sliding along the ground, on my side, pinned under my dirty bike frame. I laid for 10 seconds, blinking, laughing in stupor, figuring out which parts hurt most, and looked down at my now mud-caked pants, legs, shoes and arms.

But what I saw was two people coming over to help me. Two random strangers, with nothing but genuine concern on their faces. When I wouldn’t accept the girl’s offer of water, she said the best words I could hear at that moment:

“Can I run to my dorm and get you a clean pair of pants?”

Really? Really?! I was not too proud to say, “YES! Thank you!” I followed her to her dorm. Her name was Olivia and she was a freshman who grew up around here. Her generosity was so beautiful. She did not hesitate one second to stop what she was doing, walk in the opposite direction across campus, and give me her own pair of pants. I think that’s what it means to give the clothes off your back, I really do. She handed me a lovely pair of black leggings and said with a smile, “Don’t worry about getting them back to me.”

That was today’s daily inspiration. I thank God that my bike and body are fine, and I thank God for Olivia.

XOXO

Kris

Anonymous Says (I)

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 09:57:05 -0500

Thank you for your submissions of daily inspiration! Keep them coming!!

What inspired me today was a radio station, Word fm. Every morning i listen to the music that brings me back to Him. In this fast paced busy world I become rapped up in it but this single act of listening to His music and Word, brings me back to the joy and peace of knowing Jesus. He is the reason why I am here. I am here to submit to His will and plan and obey His laws. For I am nothing without Him.

-Anonymous

Click here for a taste.

XOXO

Kris

Hi Kris, I do not really want to ask anything. I just want to say I absolutely loved reading your description of the Potter and the clay. It is so true and beautiful. Thank you so much! He is so happy and pleased with you, I am sure! He is so worthy of our trust and obedience. We just don't know what is around the corner. He does. Our wisdom is foolishness to Him. We just can't reason or think like Him. Yet, He loves us so much. Enough to send His Son to show us the way and then die.

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 11:21:32 -0500

Oh anonymous little lover,

you took the words right out of my fumbling mouth. He does love us so much. Send me another message with your e-mail address so we can share more!

MUAH!

Kris

Comin' Home

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:05:00 -0500

Today I woke up with sharp pains in my back and a tightness in my chest. I realized it would be impossible to bike to school, and couldn’t stay home, so I called a lovely lovely friend to come pick me up and drive me there. Soon enough, the pain dulled, and the time came at the end of the day for me to walk home. It’s a 25 minute walk home and it was pouring rain.

And. it. was. beautiful.

Had I ridden my bike today, I would have flown home in less than 10 minutes, trying to avoid the rain in any way. But I had to walk today. Because I walked I got to see these beautiful, beautiful flowers being watered. You could just see them, drenched, crying out with joy. And so was I.

Today, the walk home was worth the pain in the morning. And that’s how I think it will be.

When we walk Home.

XOXO

Kris

Today’s inspiration? This balloon. One year ago, our...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 17:15:58 -0500

Today’s inspiration? This balloon. One year ago, our beloved Papa passed away. Today, all my family released balloons with letters to Papa on them. This is my nephew’s.

I have no words for how beautiful he is. He will be a light in the darkness.

XOXO

Kris

Come, artists. Come, lovers.

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:26:51 -0500

Brothers and sisters,

Have you ever tried sculpture? In any form, from a sculpture class, to a pottery wheel, to making a chubby little figure with Playdough?

Let me tell you, I am a TERRIBLE sculptor. Painting? Drawing? Dripping Wax? Completely natural to me, like walking. But sculpture? For some reason, when I try to sculpt something, the object I create, often out of clay, does not accurately describe what I see in my mind or what I see laying on a table in front of me. The only sculpture I have ever enjoyed is wire-art. This is different because you can see through and around the sculpture as you make it. You see the different perspectives.

Back to clay. I once had a class where we were given a bone from the local Natural History Museum and the task of rendering it with clay. Every time I thought I had mastered a curve, a weight distribution, a line, some nuance, I would step 30 degrees to the left and it would be completely wrong! Can you imagine the frustration? It took me three weeks, and I ended up with a mishapen, ruddy-green excuse for a femur.

I did the same thing for the first 24 years with my life. I tried to mold myself. I tried to look down at myself and push and pull myself in the direction that I thought was right given my perspective. But if I shifted a bit, I saw it was all wrong. If I was that bad at making a bone out of clay, you can imagine how bad I was at making something of myself.

Meet the Potter. He is past, present and future. From dust you came, and were made into clay. The clay and the potter are infinitely different, but the difference I stress today is this: where your perspective is a scratched snapshot of your life, the Potter’s perspective is complete in both time and space. He knows where you’ve been, where you are right. now. He knows where you will be. He says, “Can I not do with you Israel, as this potter does? Like clay in the hand of the potter, so you are in my hand, Israel.” -Jer 18:6.

Imagine clay running from your hands at the pottery wheel. You grab it and try to undo the damage it’s done to itself. You have to warm it back it up in your hands to make it malleable. You think, “This poor, naive clay. It can’t see what I see. It doesn’t know how BEAUTIFUL only I can make it.”

I have relented to the Potter, and I have seen the miracles He does. I was once a cold, unmovable, block, trying to carve out my ugliness by myself. I was tired. Beyond exhausted. Beyond discouraged. Then the Potter swooped in and I gave in to His grace. I let him move me, cut parts away, place me in the furnace, and take me back out to cool. God wants to make a beautiful thing of you. This much I know. Will you let Him?

There is SO MUCH beauty inside you. God can see every perspective, take it ALL into account, and use His love and His power to make you to be just the thing that He created you to be.

If I can share one thing with you, it is the incomparable, indescribable, unremovable, undeniable joy I feel when I know the Potter’s hands are at work on me.

“Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter, we are the work of your hand.” -Isaiah 64:8.

XOXO

Kris.

Bar's closin'! Last Call!

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:35:24 -0500

Okay, maybe not. There is no last call here. We’re ALWAYS OPEN (what am I saying?)

Hello all!

I want to thank those of you that responded saying that you were interested in encouraging others. I also want to make another call out to anyone who might be interested in sharing! You don’t have to have a Daily Inspiration (DI) yet, but just the desire to share SOMETHING in the future. If that is you, click “ask” and tell me so!

For those of you who have already jumped in (water’s nice, eh?), please send me your DI as soon as you are ready to. If you could, please include your e-mail address (this will not be shared on the blog, but will be used by me to send you a personal thank you!) and a picture of you as well (or a picture relating to the DI). If you don’t have one, or would rather not, that’s fine too!

Can’t wait to start encouraging each other.

Love,

Kristen

That's what I was thinkin'!

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:29:22 -0500

pressingheaven:

I’m a Christian, not a Churchian.

The Change Adds Up

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:44:44 -0500

Dear Lovely readers,

Thank you thank you thank you for stopping by again! This post pertains to YOU SPECIFICALLY, so I am more happy than ever that you are reading. Eight months ago, I started this blog after following many fashion blogs. My friends had encouraged me to do so because of my ~~weird and cheap~~ creative and thrifty style. I thought I could put a spin on it by showing you how to express yourself on a budget and a bike!

It has been so rewarding for me to share my journey with you. I thank you for your patience when I didn’t post for a couple months in the fall. Truth be told, I was not only busy with grad school, but I had a bit of a narcissism crisis. I felt and still do feel uncomfortable posting photos of myself and my clothing, when I could be posting what we (yes, YOU and I) are learning.

In the past couple posts, I have received tremendous feedback from friends and family, men and women. I can’t explain how BLESSED I am to have encouraged, inspired, and challenged some of you.

But I think it’s time for this baby to become more than just a a 5 minute feel-good read. If you’re going to take the time to read this, I want it to foster real growth in all of us. From what you have shared with me, what you (and I) need most is courage. Courage to step out with purpose and with passion.

in·spi·ra·tion: noun \ˌin(t)-spə-ˈrā-shən,

1. a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation.

  2. the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions

  3. the act of influencing or suggesting opinions

   4. the act of drawing in; specifically : the drawing of air into the lungs

My eyes and heart have been awakened to daily inspirations. And I believe that these moments and influences are there to stir us. To make us grit our teeth and jump up and down and say “THIS is worth fighting for. THIS is what I am going to pour my heart into.” I want us to understand the power God has given us to go out and DO. I want these daily inspirations to not just make us feel good. I want them to make us DO good. And how much more powerful would it be for this blog to not only share my inspirations, but all of yours as well?

So I have proposition for you. Would you share this endeavor with me? Would you share with me and our other readers your daily inspirations? These could be moments of beauty, passion, awakening, painful realization, or pure joy. Anything that pierces you. That stirs up real activity in your life and the world around you. If you are willing to do this, please click “Ask” on the top of the page (below the counter) and say “My name is [first name here] and I want to encourage someone!”

The rules for the Daily Inspirations (DI):

1. Express a moment of inspiration, gratitude, or a passion to shift toward selflessness. You can do this through a photograph, song, quote, moment, or memory.

2. The DI must encourage, inspire, or challenge you.

3. Explain why it does so.

4. Explain one small (or massive) change you are making in your life because of this moment.

Whether or not you want to share this dream with me, I am grateful for you. And even if not one person wants to do this, I am still shifting the focus of Between Southern Lights from being my own mirror to being my window. Because there is so much beauty and there are so many to love and serve if we just look out.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of instruction. -2 Tim 1:7.

I cannot WAIT to hear your responses!

XOXO Kris

Find One Thing.

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:12:41 -0500

What do you have to do today?

Get your car fixed.

Work on a group project.

Go to WORK.

Make. dinner. again.

Tell someone the truth.

8 loads of laundry (I know I’m not the only one on her last pair of clean skivvies).

[your task here].

What do you have to do tomorrow? Thursday? Friday? In March? In 2025? I don’t know about you, but I’m sensing a pattern. Every single day, we are expected to do things. If we don’t do those things, we will have consequences which will force us to do other things. Seems like this whole “have to do stuff” deal isn’t gonna go away any time soon.

Don’t stop reading now! The punchline is on its way. My point is, what DO you have control over? Your mind. And that’s no small thing! You see, your mind controls your thoughts and emotions, which control your decisions, which govern your day. Be honest with yourself: Did your attitude yesterday STINK like gym clothes left in your car for a week?

It is not too late to change your attitude. Don’t miss out on the urgency of that message. It is

NOT. TOO. LATE.

to stop that poisonous attitude dead in its tracks. You have the power to say, I have a big pile of dirty dishes, and I’m going to wash them with JOY. I’m going to apologize to my husband with joy. I’m going to collaborate with people who are different than me with joy.

Because I have to do everything one way or the other. And I can do it grudgingly, or I can do it joyfully.

Dress: Thrifted (The Bargain Box), Sweater: Chaps, Smile: God.

And when 99% of our lives are out of our control, choosing to be joyful seems like pretty much the smartest, most important decision you can make today. I encourage you to make that choice today. If you are struggling with something painful today, I am not belittling that. But I challenge you to find one part of your day today that makes you feel grateful to be alive. Find two things tomorrow. You’re getting the pattern right?

There is no reason that today can’t be absolutely beautiful.

“You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way, and share your joy with me.” -Philippians 2:18.

XOXO

Kristen

Request

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 02:02:49 -0500

Hello, my beloved readers!! I have a favor to ask of you. Would you be the kindest, most generous little peaches out there on the interweb? If you send me mail of any sort (a question, comment, request, suggestion, etc.), could you include your e-mail address? The mystery of an anonymous follower has its romance, but I would love to be able to address you and respond properly.

My most sincere love (and I don’t throw that word around),

Kristen.